How to Choose an Executor for Your Estate

As a financial planner, one of the most common estate planning questions I hear from clients is: “How do I choose the right executor for my will?” It’s a big decision—one that impacts how smoothly your wishes are carried out when you’re no longer around to speak for yourself. Whether you have a long list of loved ones or you’re a solo ager without obvious options, this post will walk you through how to choose the best person (or team) for the job.

First, What Does an Executor Actually Do?

Think of your executor as the CEO of your estate. Their job begins after your passing and includes tasks like:

Locating and managing your assets
Paying off debts and final bills
Filing your final tax returns
Distributing assets according to your will
Communicating with heirs and the probate court
Possibly managing property or business interests in the short term

It’s not just about paperwork—though there’s plenty of that. It’s also about patience, time management, and sometimes, navigating emotional family dynamics.

Who Should You Choose?

Here’s what makes a great executor:

Trustworthiness – They’ll be handling sensitive financial and personal matters.
Organized and detail-oriented – The role involves deadlines, paperwork, and follow-through.
Emotionally steady – Grief can be hard. You want someone who can manage their emotions and responsibilities.
Geographically practical – Someone local can make the process smoother, especially if real property or court appearances are involved.
Financially competent – They don’t need to be a pro, but they should understand money and seek help when needed.

Pro tip: Your executor doesn’t need to be a family member. They don’t even have to be a beneficiary. But they do need to be someone who can get things done.

Common Struggles Executors Face

Even the best executor may run into:

Time pressure – Settling an estate can take months or even years.
Family tension – Disputes over money or misunderstandings can flare up.
Legal or tax complexity – Especially for larger estates, blended families, or out-of-state property.
Emotional overwhelm – It’s a lot to handle on top of grieving.

This is why it’s so important to not only choose the right person—but set them up for success.

How You Can Help Your Executor Succeed

Make their job easier with some prep work:

✅ Create a clear, up-to-date will and estate plan
✅ Keep a list of your accounts, passwords, advisors, and key contacts
✅ Let them know they’ve been chosen (surprise executorship is rarely a gift)
✅ Write out your wishes and guidance (especially for things like heirlooms, pets, or social media accounts)
✅ Consider a co-executor if the job might be too big for one person

This is where financial advisors, estate attorneys, and tax pros become a dream team for your executor.

What If You’re a Solo Ager or Don’t Have a Good Fit?

You still have options:

Hire a professional fiduciary or trust company
Name a private attorney or CPA (some offer executor services)
Use a nonprofit organization or elder law firm that offers estate settlement services
Appoint a corporate trustee if your estate includes a trust

What Does It Cost?

If you go the professional route:

Professional executors typically charge between 2%–5% of the estate value
Flat fees or hourly rates may also be available, especially for smaller estates

If you want to compensate a friend or family member:

You can include a specific executor fee in your will
Fees are usually considered taxable income for the executor
State laws often allow “reasonable compensation” even if not specified—but it’s better to be clear

Paying someone for their time and effort isn’t just fair—it can help avoid resentment or burnout.

One More Tip...

If your estate is complex, or if you worry about family drama or burnout, it’s okay to name co-executors or successor executors. You can even choose someone for the paperwork and someone else for the emotional support.

Choosing an executor is a deeply personal decision—but it’s also one of the most practical gifts you can give your loved ones. It says: I’ve got you covered. I’ve thought this through. And as financial planners, we're here to help make sure your executor has everything they need to carry out your wishes with confidence and grace.

Need help thinking through your options? Let’s chat. Your legacy deserves clarity.