Supporting Your 20-Something Without Losing Your Sanity… or Retirement Savings
Ah, the 20s—a magical decade filled with first apartments, first "real jobs," questionable hairstyles, and lots of learning (some of it the hard way). As a parent, watching your child navigate these years can bring immense pride…and occasional heartburn.
It’s natural to want to help. But where’s the line between healthy support and enabling? How do you set them up for success without accidentally derailing your own future? Let’s talk about it.
Your 20s: The Decade of Firsts…and Fumbles
Your child’s 20s are packed with big life changes:
✅ Graduating college (or figuring out if they even want to)
✅ Landing that first adulting job
✅ Paying rent…and realizing groceries cost money
✅ Building relationships, sometimes ending them
✅ Learning how to budget, invest, and navigate the real world
It’s exciting. It’s overwhelming. And yes, they’ll make mistakes (just like we all did).
How to Support Without Enabling
You can be their biggest cheerleader without being their lifelong safety net. Here’s how:
1. Be a Listening Ear, Not a Fixer
Sometimes they need advice. Other times, they just need to vent. Ask, “Do you want me to just listen or do you want help brainstorming solutions?” You’ll be amazed how empowering that simple question is.
2. Encourage Problem Solving
It’s tempting to swoop in when they’re struggling with bills or job stress. Instead, guide them to find their own solutions—whether it’s researching side gigs, negotiating rent, or connecting with mentors.
3. Set Boundaries with Financial Support
Offering occasional help? Totally understandable. But consistently paying their bills while sacrificing your own financial goals? That’s a fast track to resentment…and potentially living with them in retirement (unless that’s your dream, of course).
A good rule of thumb: Don’t help them financially in ways that jeopardize your retirement, health, or peace of mind. Your future matters too.
Your Financial Well-Being Comes First
It might feel selfish to prioritize your own financial health, but it’s actually one of the best gifts you can give your kids. A secure, independent parent reduces the chance that your child will need to care for you financially down the line—and allows you both to enjoy your relationship without money stress.
If you’re unsure where you stand, consider working with a financial advisor (we happen to know a good one 😉) to map out your own future. You’ll feel more confident saying yes—or no—to your kids, knowing your own plan is on track.
Help Them Build Their Toolbox
Think back to your own 20s—you didn’t know what you didn’t know. Your kids are likely in the same boat. The good news? You can connect them to resources that empower them to learn:
🔑 Financial literacy workshops (we LOVE these)
🔑 Career coaching or networking groups
🔑 Mental health resources—it’s not all about money
🔑 Books, podcasts, and courses on personal growth
And hey, we’re always happy to chat with young adults about money basics. A little knowledge now can prevent costly mistakes later.
Final Thoughts: Love, Boundaries & a Little Humor
Supporting your child in their 20s is all about balance—encouraging independence while being their steady support system. It's okay to say no sometimes. It’s okay to let them stumble a bit. And it’s definitely okay to protect your own financial well-being along the way.
After all, isn’t the goal to raise independent, capable adults…who don’t need to move back in with you when you’re finally enjoying retirement?
Need help making sure your own financial plan is ready for whatever life throws your way (or your kids’ way)? We’re here to help. Let’s make sure everyone’s future is secure—yours and theirs.
